First Essay Review: Constitutional Law

If I remember correctly, this is an essay that BarBri makes you do.  In any case, I'm going to post it and turn on comments so people can see how to improve.  Give your recommendations, what you would change, how you would phrase rules, etc.  I hope to do two of these a week until exam week, so keep sending them in to

Edit: I'm having problems with turning comments on.  I am going to host the discussion on the new site even though its not quite finished.  The new site is: